Unfortunately, far too many of us humans live out our entire lives in the social closets of our upbringing, never showing the world who we really are – our uniqueness as individuals based on our natural leanings. This is sad. I, too, am a living victim of this social programming, that is designed specifically to create an “acceptable order” to the social world we humans daily engage in. All my life I have been a rebel inside, defying so much of what I was raised to believe is “right” looks, behaviors, and beliefs. But, all my life I have failed to express this rebellion in a socially meaningful way, and in a way that boosts my own self-autonomy and self-esteem. The social indoctrination of my youth was that informative and impactful upon me – yes, that strong – that I learned to hide myself from most, and reveal the fuller me only in aberrant ways that have never really brought social satisfaction into my life.
I no longer want to live life this way! For the rest of my life, I want to live differently – freely – among those who wish to revel in and participate (even if it is simply as “witness” or as “encourager”) in my self-expression of who I am, what I am, and how I feel inside about “me” and about this “shared” life we experience together. This web site, as it presently is now structured, is meant to begin this process of self-revelation – of an effort to be truly authentic with myself and with others within this world that we live. This specific page is but another step of sharing in this process – an even deeper “revealing” shared with you in the hopes that it will encourage you to interact with me and encourage me to live my life out in the open from now on! That you, by your interaction with me, are encouraging me to step out of the closet fully and completely, and be authentically me in your presence – and before the world itself.
I hope you will embrace my offer to relate in this much more intimate way, and that we can help each other to live and be more authentic around each other! Now, to the purpose of this page, and what it is that I down deep “want” and “need” to share with you, my friends. I pray reverently and truly that you find what I share here a blessing to your mind and to your life! And, I hope and pray that you choose to personally interact with me about what I’ve shared here, and about what needs to happen, now that I’ve done so! I just want to fully and truly be me for a change, unabashedly and unashamedly publicly me for a change! Before anymore of this life passes me by! Please, I supplicate with my lips and my fingers, help me to now be and make me be truly me and out of the closet! … Now, to the subject items of this page!
There are very few human made objects in this world that actually catch my attention. This is probably why advertisements are a waste of time and money on me, more an annoyance than anything else! But, every now and then, I discover beautiful desirable things made by humans that fully catch my attention. That I deserve to have, to be ever adorned with. Here are a few of those human made objects that truly speak to me – deep inside me – that I want for the daily wearing on me.
(Hint, clothes of society are not one of them! And, they will never show up here on this page. Others can be as dressed as they want around me, and I will enjoy your cosmetic/fashion expression of beauty. But, I should be legally required to be naked of clothes at most times and in near all places, to never have the social opportunity to hide behind an image that is a “made up” me. Besides, clothes are fucking uncomfortable to me, sweaty and itchy. And, I do not believe I need them on me. See Here and Here, and you be the judge – seriously, let me know! I really hate clothes on me! But, before I become further off topic with this, getting now back on subject.)
For as long as I can remember, I have always had a challenge with keeping time. I have no natural sense of date and time, and my family can attest to this! Expect me to be on time, then I must be actively tracking time. Actively keeping an eye on the watch. It does not help that I do not wear a watch, now, does it? How I’ve been keeping time throughout these years is via cell phone apps and alarms. But, in all honesty, I do have a fascination with natural time. For I am aware of this – daytime, nighttime, new moon, full moon, etc. And, using man made time, I have always gone by the 24 hour clock – have never really understood the twelve hour clock, really. Too cumbersome for me to properly track time with. If I were to start wearing a watch upon my wrist, well, this wristwatch here on this page is the watch I would want to wear. It is elegant, but minimalist. It is a true 24 hour analogue quartz watch, that softly reminds with the shadowing of daytime and nighttime upon its face. Wearing this, I then could be held to accountability by those around me to be more cognizant of time, even though I lack a natural sense of it, yes?
Though I have no desire, taste for, or interest in wearing clothes,.. And, because I have been forced and still am being forced to wear clothes by the surrounding society I find myself within,.. I have longed for a compromise with society. Allow me to be freely and publicly naked more often and, in times when this is problematic, I promise to were this sarong for you (and however many more you desire) with whatever shirt you feel is best to go with this. I hate wearing pants! I’d much rather be wearing a man-skirt of some kind, whether it is a very light material-ed kilt or a sarong like on this page. This I can’t complain so much about, for I’m almost naked! It doesn’t take much to take this off me, and let me freely be, now, does it? I’ve longed to start wearing man-skirts for the longest time, but have never been bold enough to wear them as a clothing lifestyle choice. I do want that to change! … I’ve noticed, that you’ve might have picked up that I said as a clothing lifestyle ‘choice’, yes? Okay, I have an admission, I have worn a skirt or two, sometimes a kilt, in public – in defiant social rebellion to the social norm for men! But, this was when I was a young adult man, with no social responsibilities, and no reason to consider the social impact upon significant others around me for being dressed so, in such ways. If I may ask, have I been too fearful of social stigmatization regarding this?
Okay, now it is time to get much more personal, much more revealing about myself, than I’ve felt inside it is socially appropriate to be. But, I’m going to do it! Step even more out of the closet about me. I’m going to get very honest in an intimate and sexual way with you, now. Consider this a public opening up, here on this page, with this man made item above and the artistic ones below this. I have always, for as long as I can remember, had a longing to be owned, physically and behaviorally, in intimate/sexual ways. I have always been the natural hard-core bottom, looking for his blatantly determined and aggressive dominant – who loves to be entertained, serviced, and have fun! And, yet, who is also a loving “by means of discipline” unabashed top. I have been so mentally active throughout my life about this that I have gone for hours upon hours lost in sexual fantasies about all that she/he/they will do to me. Of course, this means that I’ve done a lot of self-masturbation in my days – trying my best to be erected hard all throughout the days and nights, while never having the orgasmic release that I so desire from this intense state of long-term arousal. Of course, I’ve cum on myself many a times, too, more than I’d like to say, because I don’t have someone in my life who can properly meet these intimate erotic needs of mine – someone who is truly sexually compatible with me – and prolonged fantasizing leads to eventual unavoidable orgasm.
I have never really been about shared sexually intimate encounters in the socially normal sense of what we’re supposed to be attracted towards. Hollywood romance is a foreign set of behaviors for me, literally. I do not experience sexual arousal towards others in this intimate body-lustful way. Rather, I am aroused sexually by “situational” social and sexual encounters – the “adult play” kind has always been my natural leaning, from puberty to present. Naturally, this creates a challenge in forming satisfying sexual intimacy with others for me, … unfortunately. I long to be aroused and sexually obedient and willing, but I don’t like to reach my own orgasm from this. Not, unless it is her/his/their desire that I experience an orgasm for her/him/them. This is how I have always been. So, when I became introduced to the human made “penis chastity cage” online, I immediately fell into aroused desire and love for the obvious sexual joy it can bring to me! No longer would I be able to touch and play with my dick, only the owner of my genitals who put this chastity cage on me can touch and play with them now. No longer would I be able to experience erections and/or orgasms at any given time of day or night and, especially, when I’m not in the “Keyholders” presence! No longer would I have any say over what I must do in order to experience the momentary freedom down below to enlarge and, then, release in ecstasy. I fucking need this penis chastity cage upon my penis and scrotum, for real!!! The Steelwerks Extreme Classic Supreme! And, I admit that I’ve already taken the measurements for it.
With this specialty key S-lock chastity cage upon my penis – being held in place by the round cockring and the square rectangle holding my scrotum in place and the urethral tube inside my penis keeping the cage assuredly on my flaccid dick – I’m screwed literally and figuratively for as long as she is hiding the key away and saying ‘no’ to getting it. How arousing is this?! Oh my, Goddess, fucking very! And, never in my life should I ever be allowed to lay a hand on this key – it belongs to my Keyholder only!!! Just typing the thought of this, as I’ve been doing here on this page, gets my abdomen and dick so tight and erected!!! Damn, just the thought of it! And, I refuse to touch it, now, to address these aching throbs … as much as I want to! Here and now, I must stay focused, eyes and fingers on the keyboard. I am just going to have to let it ache down there for now! And the only question in my mind is this: Just how many different asses do I have to kiss for this – for this well deserved chastity? Or, how many different ways and times do I have to kiss the same gorgeous ass for this? I really do want to know the answer to this question!!! In fact, I want to know so bad, that I’m willing to go all the way in baiting it happening – see here and here! I’ve got some ass kissing to do now!
I want the bisexual heart symbol seen in this photo tattooed on my buttock’s right cheek, and I want the “love Multiplied” with its three rings tattooed on my left chest pectoral (neither tattoos have to be large, just easily noticeable).
I want tattoos. Tattoos that physically out me. Permanent ink tattoos, colorful tattoos. Tattoos the reveal my intimate inner nature to the world! I want three tattoos. The three tattoos I’ve placed on this page, now inked into my skin, now a permanent part of my body. Inked for life! I know that by tradition, social upbringing, they are forbidden. I don’t care any longer, I want you to walk me into a tattoo shop and make me get the tattoos I’ve shared here. Give me no choice. In the very places I’ve shared that I want them! Make me live with my closet door wide open, on my chest and ass my truth reveal for a lifetime! And take advantage of my need for nudity, by making me show my tattoos to others – as you desire, and as you think they’ll appreciate.
I want “Spank Me” tattooed on my buttock’s left cheek, in the same exact size and place as it is on this woman’s derrière in the photo. I really deserve it! And, I deserve it to be a regular open invitation for another(s) to follow through with this, ensuring both my cheeks are reddened intensely all over!
I long to be spanked. Seriously spanked! By a lover who knows how to be painfully merciless in her/his physical discipline of me. To be laid over your lap, my head and hands to the ground to your left, my bare vulnerable quivering buttocks before you on your lap, my feet reaching down to the floor to your right. I long to be spanked so well that I am literally brought to sobbing tears upon you. Or, before you, if I’m not on your lap. I’m serious! Like all my intimate thoughts, I’ve been thinking of these situational sexual play behaviors between us all my adult sexually-aware life. I wouldn’t be sharing these thoughts now here, if I were not entirely serious that I want to experience each and every one of them! And, then more – whatever is on your mind for me, for us, too! … Now, don’t get me started on how much I do wonder what the feel of ropes upon my forearms, while my arms are held together behind the small of my back, feel like – and how much I enjoy being truly bound and unable to escape, while she decides what all to do with me during this time!
From the time I was in my very early teens, I knew that I was different. Yes, sexually different in orientation. I have always been attracted to women, but have always longed for their, often collective, sexual dominion of me. I have always longed to be a woman’s physical property and sexual slave, to do with as and how ever she so desires, where and when ever. As well, I have always been sexually attracted to men, and have longed to be knelt in submission before his male sex, openly receptive above and behind to his growing interest in me.
I cannot avoid the truth of my bisexual nature, and I would be truly dishonest towards myself and towards others if I did not admit to this! With my wife, I have always been up front. But, by the nature of how our relationship has unfolded, I have yet to experience the bi-some intimate marriage relationship, between him and her and I, that I’ve always dreamed of achieving in life. Unfortunately for me, I’ve always been a bit socially inept and introverted about this need, because of the self-doubt of indoctrination in youth and in life, and this has been my stumbling block in being a bold achiever – as I hear that some polyamorous and open relationship ?couples? are with what they’ve achieved!
But, now, I must refocus and get back to the fuller purpose of this page. It, yes, is about outing myself – and I believe that I have successfully done this already. You know much more about me, now, than I ever really intended for this “index” node of my web site! But, what is written is written, and I must and will live with the consequences of this. I refuse to go back hiding in the closet of my life ever again! Love or hate me, ignore me or use me, because of this information here – I care, but will let you decide, now having seen and read.
What are your thoughts and intentions, now that you know? I accept that I am about to find out, and I am at peace knowing that I have finally outed myself – as I should have done many long years ago. But, insecurities will do this to you, clam you up from open self-expression before others, in fear of the possible consequences that could come from this. I don’t want to live in my self-made closet any further. So, here you go, some of the man made items that I am actually attracted to and would love to be wearing – not for me, but for the enjoyment it gives others for me to do so!
It is my deepest hope, now that I’ve gotten this expressed out of me and onto this page, that I can now just let go – mentally let go of all of this – and trust life and allow life to unfold in the ways that will address these deeper sides of me – so that I can spend more time obsessed with the every day things of life, and less time inwardly obsessed with these very specific aspects of me. If I’m meant to be blessed with the wearing of these man made items, then she/he/they will insist upon it, that I follow through with my words, as I’ve shared them here – and as she/he/they have added to them.
I’m leaving the closet door open from now on, and we’ll see what happens! I’d love to be very much surprised, again and again! And, then, have to follow through with all I’ve shared here with you – for I am an honest man!
!!! UPDATE !!!
I have more to share with you! Do you wish to read it? Below what I am now sharing in this page update is a link to a special page, wherein I share my opening up to you, my Wife, about my need to worship you and serve you – as the Goddess that you are in my life. The link is at the bottom of this page, and the access password is “abc123”. It couldn’t be easier, yes? Because I love you and want to be fully open with you, and the world around me! Now, to this update:
I am Joseph Tsefanyahu Farkasdi. And I have nothing to hide from you! Because on these two pages I am revealing all, then I have some admissions to make.
One, I am a natural born nudist that is trapped in society’s demand for clothing. I’d much rather be naked all the time and in front of everyone. Though I only know what everyone around me looks like in their clothing, everyone around me should have the knowledge of what I look like fully naked. This is only fair, deny my eyes until I’ve earned the sight of your natural beauty, but never grant me the luxury of such personal privacy!
Two, I am a natural born sexual “bottom” looking to be disciplined and trained by a loving aggressive “Top”. The dominant woman (or woman and man) that won’t hesitate to take full advantage of my sexual and behavioral submissiveness all for your entertainment and pleasures. I deserve, so I’ve always felt inside, to be physically and behaviorally “owned” if you will – (in body) especially my mouth, ass, penis and scrotum, and the semen inside that is yours for whatever you want to do with it(!) and (in mind) full submission to wanting to do and allow to be done whatever you so desire – and to have to fully accept this my status in life before you and your friends, and be legally sworn to this.
Three, I am a natural born masturbator, who is always playing with his penis and scrotum, ass and inner thighs, lips and nipples, when no one is presently around (or all are sound asleep!). I am so sensitive in these places, and I have a matching overactive ever sexually fantasizing libido. My sex brain is a constant distraction in my life, ever taunting me with arousing scenarios and images of my deserving submission in life! I fantasy about my wife, about her friends, about my friends, about my imaginary women and men friends all the time. Which means that I masturbate a lot, in secret, in private! But, I’m a natural born masturbator who wants to be denied his erections by his significant other, to be physically denied his ability to play with himself when alone!
Four, I’m a natural born bisexual, too, who is just as attracted to penis as I am to dominate and demanding pussy!. I have always sexually felt that I should have to serve others intimately and selflessly in my uniquely desirous ways. All the while finding myself being physical kept in penis chastity and erection/orgasm denial by my lovers/life-partners. They should have full control over my own need to erect often and to eventually orgasm, and I should have no say any further! And She/He/They should be the only ones to decide when I’ve “earned” this brief freedom to be erected before them, so they can then decide what they want me to do about it!
The amount of pre-cum that is dripping from my penis right now, over just admitting openly and shamelessly to *all* of this, is arousingly uncomfortable within these clothes I’m presently wearing! If only someone would share and talk to my Wife about these admissions! If only my Wife wear of the nature to know how to aggressively act upon these truths, and have the inner desire to hold me accountable to them and make me live them, for Her pleasures! Okay,… my truthful and honest admissions are made, and I will live with the consequences of having shared them!
Right here in This Photo, taken from the Steelwerks Twitter feed, really shows what this chastity cage will look like on someone like … me! Wow, I so deserve this being done to me! Just with the version shown above (the above, with its more open design, allows me to do personal hygeine without Her having to unlock and remove the device for this every single time – only when the urethral tube needs cleaning, when it is required that it be inside my penis)!
Because, I do thorough homework on these devices, yes, I am aware that The Classic Extreme does indeed cost a pretty numerous number of pennies. It’s an investment, which I must wear for Her the rest of my life, if she actually surprises me with making such an investment! Or, if someone who knows Her and has deep pockets and wants to gift this to Her for my wearing for Her pleasure, and does so … I am unable to refuse and am already sworn to wearing it, for Her and this other, for a lifetime (save for those brief moments that She gives me freedom to erect!).
In the event this happens, the sizing chart measurements are as follows (yes, I’ve already measured and am aware that there are “no returns” once it’s made – and, with a fully committed to this smile, I will live with any errors in measurement that I’ve made, if there be any – which I believe is a not!):
A – inner diameter, 4.25 cm (roughly equivalent to 1 3/4″), width (up-down the length of penis), 2 cm (roughly equivalent to 3/4″)
B – inner width, 1.5 cm (roughly equivalent to 5/8″), inner length, 6.5 cm (roughly equivalent to 2 5/8″)
C – height (up-down the length of scrotum), 1.5 cm (roughly equivalent to 5/8″)
D – curving length, 10 cm (roughly equivalent to 4″), inner diameter of cage, 3.5 cm (rougly equivalent to 1 3/8″)
E – curving length, 6.5 cm (roughly equivalent to 2 5/8″) [10 cm D – 1.5 cm G – 2 cm A = 6.5 cm E]
F – inner diameter, 0.25 cm (roughly equivalent to 1/8″), curving length, 6.25 cm (roughly equivalent to 2 1/2″) or “to end of cage” like in the diagram
G – width of space, 1.5 cm (roughly equivalent to 5/8″)
I really think the bigger challenge will be getting this male chastity cage on my penis without me having penis arousal occuring, because it’s actually happening to me!
Now, if a MORE AFFORDABLE option is desired for the time being, HERE IT IS! You don’t have to wait to put me in my place and lock me to your humbled and devoted service!!!
Should this be of interest, and She wants to begin early in locking me down in service to Her, there is always these cheaper versions that She could get and use for the meantime.
(Basically, if it has a PA piercing rod built into it, then it is as inescapable and unavoidable as the one above – even if it just covers the penis shaft and head alone. Instead of specialty screws, a specialty key for the built-in lock. Out of all the cheaper in price versions, this Evotion one shown here speaks the most to me – AND – I’d so deserve it if You should choose to buy it for me and make me wear it for You! Since, I advertised it, here! Take me to a piercing shop and have them put a Prince Albert piercing through the head of my penis, slip this chastity cage with PA rod onto me, and hide away those keys where I’ll never find them! Guaranteed this chastity cage for the penis WON’T be slipping off (opps!) late at night while you’re asleep this way! And, it doesn’t interfere with the wearing of the 1″ wide “wedding band” cockring You already have around my genitals for a lifetime!)
Like with the Classic Supreme above, should She surprise me with one of these (actually buy it for me!), then I am submitted already, now, and must allow Her to put this on me, and face the consequences for sharing on this here! … What are the AFFORDABLE ones I write of? It’d be like the one that we’ve actually talked to each other about before (a CB type, but She never acted on it!), and this one linked below is even better – check it out!:
Evotion Cage Bijou – Custom-Made to Your Measurements – from $219.00 – https://www.evotionwearables.com/shop/evotion-cage-bijou
I wouldn’t be fairly putting the fate of my penis in Her hands, if I didn’t show my due diligence and provide the measurements needed for their sizing chart, now would I? So, here they are (I am unashamed, even when flaccid!):
SL = 44.45 mm (@ 1 3/4″) (shaft length)
GL = 28.50 mm (@ 1 1/8″) (glan length)
SD = 31.75 mm (@ 1 1/4″) (shaft diameter)
PAD = 25.00 mm (@ 1″) (prince albert depth)
PAP = 8 ga (prince albert thickness)
If She so desires, She can now buy this for me without even telling me that She’s doing so! If this happens, I’m committed to all that results from its wearing. And, the BONUS for Her is that I must wear this Prince Albert encasing chastity device WITH – yes, I said “WITH” – the 1″ wedding band already on me! No escaping a sworn promise, now! Right, my wife?
My Wife, my Goddess, I want to give you everything you’ve ever asked for. Seriously! But, you have to understand that, for reasons I don’t fully understand about me, situation is everything to me. Especially, if you expect me to be motivated to get out of my shell, and be self-initializing. Put me in the position where I have to act – and act often – and reticence can no longer hinder.
Don’t be afraid to hold me accountable to these words, remind me of my place, and insist that I fulfill them – my promised words. You know how I like being a pleasing man, even if there is no personal reward in it for me. But, I admit that I need the motivation, too. What better way to motivate me than to give me your key-controlled denial of my own ability to self-pleasure?
Your pleasure comes first, before mine, this I understand. This is a duh, a no brainer! As much as I understand this, though, I admittedly am prone to living life as if it were in my head. I’m sure that you feel, at times, as if you’re a mother to your children and to me. Am I correct? As you know, I’m also very observant (even when I don’t share it).
If I’m right about this, then I need to be adorned with a penis chastity cage, plain and simple! No ifs or buts, it needs to happen! For this shows that I clearly need some motivating discipline to be more proactively attentive to your needs. Both household and personal intimate needs! I need to start earning my erections for you!
And a little self-denial (erection denial), with an occasional serious smack on the ass (a well deserved buttocks-reddening tear-invoking spanking), may just be that motivation I need. That is, if you’re willing to motivate me these ways – for your benefit, of course. On behalf of all males like me in this world, I apologize for this (that I would dare ask for this aggressiveness in a woman)!
The point is that you should never have to feel like you’re taking care of your man, when he should be taking care of you. Is this correct? And, I’m obviously cognizant of this, am willing, and am asking to be physically trained to meet this. I apologize so immensely that I have not!
I won’t leave you, if you make me live disciplined this way and in self-denial (until you choose to bless me with the momentary sight of the key, for I did ask for it!). I might even learn to habitualize meeting your womanly needs, properly now and on a regular basis (just so that I see the key more often, now that you’re always super happy and willing to look for it!).
Some of us just need a little encouragement in life by others, for our own sake! We respond better to this, than to what we inwardly know that we should do. This is just our nature. We need to earn our deserved position and status in life. Shouldn’t my status be to worship you for your very presence, not just for all that you do for me and for our family?
This is a serious question, and I’ll leave it for you to answer. I don’t deserve you, and I know this. But, because you are my living Goddess in this life, I want to deserve you. I want to deserve my status and position in life, and not just because you’re married to me – but because I have been truly EARNING it. What do you have to say (by your words and actions)?
If it is to ever happen to me, then I want to be surprised by it. To experience the sinking knowing feeling that I am now committed to wearing this penis chastity cage for Her, with no way out from having to now EARN my erections – one erection at a time! For Her pleasure, having to meet Her detailed and specific household and intimate/sexual obligations for me, just to even be teased by the sight of that key of momentary penis release! And, to not experience Her actually using that key on this chastity cage, to release my penis for a brief well earned erection, UNTIL She is completely satisfied that I have truly EARNED it for Her.
(The only exception, is Her briefly uncaging me for 1,2, or 3 minutes – her choice – so that I can properly and quickly wash the penis cage and my penis in Her presence, before She deservingly cages it once more!) Oh my Goddess! Why does this stir sensitivity in my loins below, the very thought of it? If it is not that this is the way it should be for me! And is the reason for why my mind gravitates back to this again and again, and to my sensitive awareness that I have a penis so vulnerable to Her desires and disciplined denials down there!
You have no idea how much I long (and for how long I’ve longed) to have my penis caged in a way that I cannot escape, where I myself never have the key to my release, and where I must rely upon your feeling gracious today to allow me a few hours (or a overnight, if I’ve been especially well deserving) of genital freedom from the always present restrictive reminder of my place and your authority in my life. If need be, put a lockable Prince Albert piercing through my penis for good measure, to ensure that I can never slip out and self-pleasure – to ensure my penis erection denial, until I have really earned a moment’s freedom before you! … I wouldn’t write so much about this and other submission things, if I were seriously desirous deep inside for the actual living and experiencing of it, as a lifestyle choice between us.
You have no idea how much my ass (yes, my vulnerable white tight obstinate and uncompromising ass!) longs to be spanked like this from time to time! To put me back into my subservient place. To remind me who is really the Boss here! Especially, when you feel that I deserve it, or need a reminding motivation. When you do feel this way, insist that I submit myself willingly to it! On your lap, or over a sofa/bed like in the spanking photo above. I will and must submit myself to this, release the tears, and acknowledge the lesson I am learning through this painful deserving reddening of my ass! … Wouldn’t a permanent pretty tattoo with the words “Spank Me when I deserve it!” go nicely on that upper left buttocks? I’ve always wanted a tattoo like this, inviting the actually doing of it. I think I’ve earned this, too!
And, to these last two paragraphs, because of their absolute truth, I put my full legal name, here, to them – Joseph Tsefanyahu Farkasdi
It does not matter how much I may want to be surprised with a chastity cage now actually before me, being put onto my penis with the promise that I will never ever be allowed to have my hand on the key, because it must be Her decision. It must be put on me, so that I must earn each erection that She allows me to have, because She desires that I wear this male chastity cage for Her and earn my erections from now on.
It doesn’t matter how much I want to be in that surreal state of uncomfortable but fully inwardly aroused over the reality that this is now actually happening to me, there’s no avoiding it, and I am now fully committed to this willingly offered submission to Her. This is a lifestyle choice, and it must be Her choice that I am to be always adorned this way for Her, because She enjoys having me this way and responding to it.
This is why I stopped commenting on my post to Her, showing my enthusiastic interest in wearing a male chastity cage for Her, where She alone has possession of the key. Because, I don’t want to be too overly enthusiastic that She buys it and puts it on me, because I keep talking about it to Her.
But, yes, I want Her to decide for Herself that She is actually going to buy this male chastity cage and make me wear it for Her – for real, at all times, as if it were a temporarily removable part of my body – because She wants me to live with it, earn every one of my erections before Her, and show Her, with my behaviors and attitude, how enthusiastic and thankful I am to Her for actually doing this and committing me to it!
If it is only me enjoying this erection denial, then it is not worth actually experiencing it. I want Her to decide this needs to happen, and then enjoy the rewards of denying me my erections. Until I am worthy of having one, regardless how many days/weeks/(even)months this may take, and to give me my hour/evening of penis freedom only when She alone decides that I’ve truly earned it, to Her satisfaction!
A Page Now For My Wife
One last thought, before I touch not the contents of this page ever again!:
Besides these two intimate lifestyle behaviors involving chastity and a paddle (and maybe the She-approved tattoos and piercings), in everyway else, we are seen as the normal couple next door. But, in what She did to my penis with a chastity cage and does occasionally to my ass with a well deserved and earned spanking, and in what all I do to show Her my love and reverence, while I earn each erection that She allows my penis to have (that She allows *me* to have) – now, in these more intimate and semi-private ways we are different from the norm.
Unless She parades me down the hallways of a public shopping center, neck collared and leashed like Her favorite pet dog, with my forearms tied together behind my back and me fully naked (adorned only with the penis cage), – a lifelong private fantasy of mine – then you would not readily know our differences from the norm when meeting us publicly. We’re so typically socially normal on the surface around each other, except for the occasional public crotch or ass grab (a subtle reminder who owns, and who is owned) when She feels it needed, you wouldn’t know the extent this Dom-sub play is intertwined into our everyday life!
At least, this is how I’ve been visualizing intimacy and relationship between my Wife and I (or, between my Wife, Husband, and I) all my life! The question is, “Have I earned living this fantasy life out for real in this real life between us?” Two decades have already slipped by! It takes two (or three), at the very minimum, to play and have deep fun together, yes? Else wise, it’s just I making futile attempts to pleasure myself on self-acted out fantasy and fetish behaviors. It’s just not the same! I prefer and hope for loving but aggressively demanding play partners – who on Her/Their own want to relate with me in these behavioral and sexual ways!